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Keano’s deadline loan bonanza…

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So with the loan deadline only hours away and gripping everyone across the nation, it is being mooted that Keano is after 2 players while another couple are sent away.

New site feature ‘Quinny’s missing signings watch’ will have to shift it’s attention to the mighty Rochdale, after French winger William Mocquet completed a temporary move to the League Two (old money: division 4) side today. Bet he’s glad he made the move from France now.

Quinny signing number two, Arnau Riera, probably the most popular player amongst fans to have never played more than half an hour for the club – mainly because he’s got a groovy name and came from Barcelona B (old money: Barcelona reserves) – is set to leave the club to join a Championship side on loan before the end of the day.

Riera has apparently got a lot of talent but is not yet ‘up to the necessary physical standard’ of this division (copyright Nic Medina 2003). He is therefore going to join a side who play in, erm, the same division. Well, I don’t know either.

Quinny signing number three, Clive Clarke, has had his loan to Coventry extended till after the new year.

Quinny’s number four, Toby Hysen is being targeted by Swedish club Gothenburg, but wishes to stay and fight for his place. He obviously hasn’t heard the rule at the club that if signed by Lord Quinny, you must bugger off in under 3 months. So far Clarke, Mocquet and Lawrence (Quinny gave him a new 5-year deal) have gone, with Riera set to follow. Robbie Elliot’s future doesn’t look too clever either.

Regarding players coming in, Paul ‘i’m a Barbados international – honest’ Ifil, is still in Keane’s sights despite being on ‘international duty’. Keano might take one for the team and fly over himself to seal the deal. Tough, but someone has to do it.

The boss has also spoken to his former manager Alex Fergie about a loan deal for one of the Man Utd young’uns, with Northern Ireland defender Jonathan Evans the apparent target. However Fergie is only prepared to deal if Keane surrenders to the request of taking Louis Saha off his hands.

It is thought both deals are far from imminent, and it could well be that no new faces will arrive on Wearside before the January transfer window opens, when everyone expects Keano to go mental with Uncle Rico’s moolah.

He won’t however, be signing any greedy sods,

‘Players are different to how they were a few of years ago,’ he told the Beeb.

‘It was all about playing and doing well but priorities have changed, they’re more obsessed with money so I don’t want them at the club anyway.

‘I’m quite happy with the group I’ve got, but it would have been nice to bring in one or two players as we’ve had injuries.

‘We made one or two inquiries but I don’t want to get involved in last minute panic situations.

‘The players at the moment are giving everything and you can’t ask for more than that, but you’re always looking for improvement.

‘Come January we hope that from a decent position we can bring in players I want long term.’

It seems that while Keano may not be making too many inroads in the loan market, our expectations for January are not misplaced.

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