Comedy Freddy unveils the punchline

This morning that very clever Geordie Freddy Shepherd claimed Newcastle’s youth setup rivalled that of Manchester United’s from the early 90’s,

‘We will have eight of our academy kids in our team and substitutes tonight – Steven Taylor, Peter Ramage, Paul Huntington, Matty Pattison, David Edgar, Alan O’Brien, Andy Carroll and James Troisi,’ boasted Fat Fred.

‘That’s 50 per cent – and it becomes nearly 60 per cent if you include our goalkeeper Steve Harper, who also came through the ranks.

‘Even when Manchester United were bringing the likes of the Neville brothers, Ryan Giggs, David Beckham and Paul Scholes through, they did not have the numbers we have here at the moment,’ the rotund one beamed.

The every same evening, his sparkling youth side shone as much as a turd in a dark alley during Greenland’s winter months:

FA Cup 3rd round result:
Newcastle 1 – Birmingham City of The Championship 5.

They do always say that the secret of comedy is timing. Freddy, that was indeed a masterclass.

We look forward in anticipation to his next chortle-inducing media comments.


Disclaimer: As a rule, I tend not to mock and take cheap digs at our beloved neighbours, due to our often less-favourable position, but make no apologies for tonight’s slip-up.